his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Oh god it's open bar.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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