Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize