Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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