But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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