Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
even my farts smell like vagina
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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