Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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