just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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