all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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