I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize