I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize