i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize