I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
nutella sex= disaster
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize