Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
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He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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