Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize