so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize