from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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