I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize