y did u give ur computer a hand job?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
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She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize