Three words: puerto rican gang bang
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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