Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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