Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize