so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize