Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize