I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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