You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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