piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize