I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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