This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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