He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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