I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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