she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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