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Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
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