i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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