So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
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we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize