She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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