i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
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His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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