winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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