Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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