Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
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whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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