I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
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Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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