As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
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Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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