Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize