u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think my vagina is haunted
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize