"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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