you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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