I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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