guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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