can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
well you can't waste a boner
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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