two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize