Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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