My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize